Donald Arthur Ashby

October 4, 1943 - April 12, 2023

10/04/1943 - 04/12/2023

Past Services

Friday April 21, 2023
5:00 pm - 7:00 pm
Altmeyer Funeral Home - Maestas Chapel
1801 Baltic Avenue
Virginia Beach, VA 23451
(757) 428-1112 | Directions
Additional Information:

From 6:30 to 7:00, the family will gather in the Chapel, and anyone who would like to share a few words about Don are invited to speak.

Funeral Service
Saturday April 22, 2023
11:00 am
St. Simon's Episcopal Church
308 Sandbridge Rd
Virginia Beach, VA
Additional Information:

The service will (most likely) be live streamed on Facebook for those unable to attend, directly on the St. Simon’s Facebook page:  (3) St Simons By The Sea Episcopal Church – Sandbridge | Facebook

Additional information regarding parking for the service, and the reception to follow, can be found at the bottom of the page.

Donald Arthur Ashby was born in Newport News, Virginia, on October 4, 1943, to his parents Coby and Mildred Ashby.  He was raised on the Eastern Shore of Virginia, where he was an accomplished baseball and football player.  He cherished his time quail and duck hunting, especially with his father Coby, his brother Richard Ashby, and his life-long friend and cousin, Page Ashby.  Don graduated from Northampton High School, and attended Duke University on a football scholarship.  He graduated from Duke with a degree in electrical engineering in 1967.

Don served in the United States Navy for seven years, where he was an Explosive Ordnance Disposal Officer.  His service included two tours of Vietnam, as well as participation in Project Azorian’s covert efforts aboard the GSF Explorer to locate and recover a Soviet submarine.  Don later worked for more than 40 years as an HVAC sales engineer in the Tidewater area.

Don and Kay (Kathleen) met in 1971 at a Junior Officers and Professionals function at the Washington, D.C. Naval Yard, and were married in Hawaii at Tantalus Lookout, Pu‘u ‘Ualaka‘a State Park, in April of 1974.  Don claimed they never had a fight in their almost 50 years of marriage.

Don and Kay have two incredible children, Kim and Patrick Ashby.  Don was a life-long runner, participating in many marathons and half-marathons across the United States.  Watching both of his children run track at Kellam High School was a great joy, and he never missed a track meet.

Don had a fantastic sense of humor, and loved to tease his children, who brought him immense pride and joy.  Don and Kay loved to travel, from hiking in Nepal, to scuba diving in New Zealand.  In retirement, Don especially enjoyed his monthly “board meetings,” skeet shooting with friends, and his EOD events.  He was an avid Duke football fan, maintaining season tickets when it was unclear if tickets were even required for admission – Kay tolerated their frequent trips to Durham.

Don’s intelligence, wit, camaraderie, and joy will be deeply missed by all those he knew.  Kay, Kim, Patrick, and Kai (our beloved black Labrador), love him forever, and are grateful for the tremendous life that he shared with us.

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you take an unexpected moment to hug your family, enjoy a walk in nature, or otherwise care for yourself.  Donations can be made to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Coastal Virginia, 291 Independence Blvd # 542, Virginia Beach, VA 23462, or online at


A visitation will be held on April 21, 2023, at Altmeyer Funeral Homes (1801 Baltic Avenue, Virginia Beach, Virginia, 23451), from 5PM to 7PM. From 6:30 to 7:00, the family will gather in the Chapel, and anyone who would like to share a few words about Don are invited to speak.

A funeral service will be held on April 22, 2023, at St. Simon’s by-the-Sea Episcopal Church (308 Sandbridge Road, Virginia Beach, VA 23456), at 11AM.  A reception will follow, at a house that is approximately a six minute walk from the church. Walking / driving / parking logistics are contained below.

The service will (most likely) be live streamed on Facebook for those unable to attend, directly on the St. Simon’s Facebook page:  (3) St Simons By The Sea Episcopal Church – Sandbridge | Facebook

Walking / driving / parking logistics:

  1. Simon’s Episcopal Church (308 Sandbridge Rd.) – Funeral services at 11AM on Saturday, April 22.
  2. Simon’s Parking Lot – This lot is located behind the church, accessed from Marlin Lane. It will remain open for the service and the reception to follow, which is at a home approximately a 6 minute walk from the church.
  3. City Parking Lot –  Directly behind the Sandbridge Market, this is the largest lot, and is approximately a 3 minute walk to St. Simon’s, and approximately a 3 minute walk to the reception. If parking spots are available, and you are able to walk, this is a recommended parking spot.
  4. Sandbridge Market / City Parking Lot – With the exception of the parking spots immediately adjacent to the building (which are reserved for market / restaurant patrons), this is a city lot, located across the street from the church, and approximately a 5 minute walk to the reception.
  5. Reception – A reception, with light refreshments, will immediately follow the funeral service. All are welcome to attend.  The reception is at a home with extremely limited parking in the driveway; street parking is not available in front of the home.  If you are able to walk (approximately 6 minutes from the church), that is strongly encouraged. You can walk there going south either on the road, or if your shoes permit, along the beach (accessing the house from the beach).  Please consider carpooling from the service for those that need to park in the driveway; there will also be a few volunteers shuttling those who need transport.
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8 months ago

I was a classmate of Donnie’s at Northampton High School. He was always a leader in our school and lead the sport teams to many a victory. We had talked about getting together again while we visited VA Beach at this time, but while on the Eastern Shore I found out about his death. You were lucky to have such a wonderful husband, and I was lucky to have a super friend! Jean White Raleigh June 13, 2023

Bob Hancock
10 months ago

Don, you will be truly missed as a friend and confidant. We had many deep conversations with lots of solutions!
It has been a honor to have known you.

Robert & Andrea Borum
10 months ago

Kay, Patrick and Kim, we are so sorry for your loss, we have been neighbors since the early 80’s and together, we have watched our children grow. We would see you all everyday going out for walks or see Don and Kim out for a run.  We will miss seeing Don but we will always hold onto the memories we have. Love you guys, Robbie, Andi, Chelsea & Olivia

Sandy and Larry Ronan
10 months ago

Kay, my first memory of you and Don is a Curry dinner you cooked and we enjoyed in Hawaii. Since then there have been so many others. Please accept our most heartfelt condolences. We will miss Don and are here for you.

Ann Henley
10 months ago

Kay and family my prayers are with you Don and I worked on many committees at Tabernacle Meth Church he always got the job done.

Anne Campion
10 months ago

Kay, my prayers are with you and your family. May Don rest in peace.

Mike Murray
10 months ago

Don and the Ashby family will forever be in our hearts and 🙏 prayers. Rest in Peace my our great friend! Roberta & Mike Murray

Sheryl Winter
10 months ago

Kay, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll miss Don’s smile and awesome sense of humor in yoga. Hugs to you during this sad time. I’m thinking of you and your children. Prayers of peace to you.

Mike and Annette Cherwa
10 months ago

Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Kay, and your family at this sad time. Love, Mike and Annette

Kat and John McDonald (Church of the Holy Apostle)
10 months ago

Kay – We send Prayers for Peace and Comfort🙏🦋May God surround Your Family with His healing Love and may Your memories fill Your hearts with love.